Fear, Doubt, Obedience, Peace

This pretty much sums up the last two weeks for me. I started to have fear about the cost of the adoption. I feared the medical issues we may face. I doubted that we were doing the right thing. I had many conversations with God about the decision to adopt. But when I heard myself say, "But God, I'm content with the way things are." I knew that I was being deceived. I knew that I must repent of my fear.

The Bible says, "The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."

Once I repented and acknowledged my fear before the Lord, I knew what was being asked of me. And just as soon as I again began the journey in obedience, I was once again consumed with peace. Sweet peace that passes all understanding. Thank you God for your patience with me when I am weak and for your forgiveness when my faith is smaller than a mustard seed.

My Prayer for Our Adoption

As soon as I realized God was leading us to this adoption journey, I began to pray. God loves to take us through things that we fear, events that we have deemed impossible. God wants us to rely on Him completely. What better way than to lead us where we are uncomfortable? I have wanted to adopt for years. Every time I looked into international adoption, I always looked right past eastern Europe. They have a slower program. They require both parents to travel. Twice. I wasn't ever going to leave my children. I wasn't going to travel outside of the country. Couldn't we just have the children flown to us? Maybe Mike could go on his own.

Then God led me to the one place I never thought I'd go. And all I could do was pray. My prayer? "God, You walk ahead of us, and we will follow."